Subinmo

Sue me. I don't want to be happy. Not anymore. Not after all this. I can't afford it. Three long years, where every second feels like my fingernails grating on the chalkboard. Three long years, where I feel my heart ache everyday. Where I think I'm dying. Drowning, like a baby in the swimming pool. Thrown in the deep end, experiencing the past once again. Swimming, barely, against the tides, against the flow of time, against the crashing cymbals. Time stands still for me. And the world moves on. Tide and time wait for no man. I am no man. I am the symbol of a person. Not a real person. I don't take joy anymore. It's alright, it's not wicked, it's peaceful. Where I am. Lost in the moment, lost in the singularity of my self.

Nothing happens, nothing happens, anymore.