Echo in my mind

Want to find some peace of mind,

Take me to another time.

Fly me to another place,

High above the mountain face.

Lead me to another world,

Deep beneath the ocean curls.

Find some peace of mind,

This time.

Phase 1

if you only knew, the pains it took to turn from you.

Shine on you

When everything has turned to dust. When all that you wish for fades into the darkness, what do you do?

Cry
Cry
Cry

Turned away, lost in yourself. Lost in clouds, in the illusions that weave around you. Fear grips tightly around the throat, silencing the little voice you had, taking away all means for help. What do you do, when your dreams shatter, and you can't see any more around the last event horizon. The light blurs, the illusion is gone. In here, there is only nothingness, there is nothing but what there is, was, and will be.

Sometimes its not how we should think, its choosing the best method to think.

Shine

I can see it in your eyes
What I know in my heart is true
That our love it has faded
Like the summer run through
So we'll walk down the shoreline
One last time together
Feel the wind blow our wanderin' hearts Like a feather
But who knows what's waiting
In the wings of time
Dry your eyes
We gotta go where we can shine

Don't be hiding in sorrow
Or clinging to the past
With your beauty so precious
And the season so fast
No matter how cold the horizon appear
Or how far the first night
When I held you near
You gotta rise from these ashes
Like a bird of flame
Step out of the shadow
We've gotta go where we can shine

For all that we struggle
For all we pretend
It don't come down to nothing
Except love in the end
And ours is a road
That is strewn with goodbyes
But as it unfolds
As it all unwinds
Remember your soul is the one thing
You just can't compromise
Take my hand
We're gonna go where we can shine
We're gonna go where we can shine
We're gonna go where we can shine

(and look, and look)
Through the windows of midnight
Moonfoam and silver

330

She doesn't love you anymore. Let it go and find yourself.

Knock knock Knocking

Do you answer your door when it is knocked? What if you think you heard something, but are not sure if someone is at the door. Will you check, to see if it there is something for you? What if you keep hearing a knocking, but fail to find what you expect at the door. Will you search for the unexpected, or be secure in the idea that somebody is playing a prank on you.

Like everybody else I wish to be moved. I long to be touched, held, understood and inspired. To be loved! Isn't that what everybody wants, to be understood, to be given allowances for our infinite complexity.

Ultimately we wish to be free, free to believe what we want. Free to see what we want to see whenever we open the door. Yet we are chained by the compulsion to open the door. How do we make sense of doing something when we don't know what exactly we are doing? When do we know where the night ends and the day begins.

My Heart

It is as simple as learning to love the things that make you upset. We start with ourselves because we need to embody our positivity. Love is an emotion. Emotions are contagious. Spread it around and you will get more of it. Always in abundance. Because more makes more. Positivity is contagious, because deep down inside, people love positivity. In essence people are whatever they are comfortable being, most of us are comfortable being positive rather than negative. The world in essence is a war, that is fought everyday by your mindset. If we would like to live in a world with peace and love, we must do our best to spread that mindset around. We do this by being good and kind to people, winning them over with the simple proposition; together we can make great things happen. As we cast aside our differences and we appreciate the excitement of achieving our similar goals, we will achieve great things. Its is the love of money based on the connotation that money gives us power and rights over other people that is the root of all evil, not money itself. If we loved money itself, we would be collectors of the different series of currency. The love of money is the veil that shields us from much of the truth. The truth is in understanding the mystery of the vast infinite, known by many names, that defines what we are, where we came from, and where we are going. The love of wisdom brings us the thirst for knowledge which leads us to the mysteries that must be solved. Only when we understand our place in this world can we move on to greater mysteries, greater pleasures, and greater challenges. Our true nature in this world can be summed up by the answer that we give as a child when asked what do we want to be when we grow up. In the sense that our passions, strengths and talents are taken into consideration when answering that question rather than how much paper will be given to us. In a sense, we are what we hate/love ultimately they are the same thing. By understanding our emotions we understand our self; by understanding our self we understand those around us; by understanding those around us, we understand us, life is learning. The only thing there is to learn is how to serve. When we serve our self we are loving our self, when we serve others we learn to love others. The greatest among us serve what we do not know, with open heart and mind to the lesson that there is always more to learn.

Go in Love and Light.

Safety First

Knowledge Protects, Ignorance Endangers

Economics?

Economics would have us believe in the principles of supply and demand. As we demand, a supply is met. MMORPG economics would show that RMT activity hinders players ability to enjoy the game. What is RMT? It is a group of people who artificially affect the economy so as to make a real monetary profit from other gamers. There is a demand for in-game currency which is met by farmers who farm and sell currency. As a result the relative value of the currency becomes worthless, and prices are inflated in worst case scenarios 'through the roof'. RMT activity is generally considered bad. Profiteering at the expense of others in a server is a culture that is slowly earning a bad name. Players who have been flagged for RMT activity are usually deleted. It raises the bar so that players who do wish to participate this illegal/immoral activity are handicapped. This widens the gap between players, leading to difference and friction and fear. Poeple feel justified at charging more for simple things. The focus changes from experiencing the game together to who can get the best thing first. When there is uncontrolled RMT activity, it affects the economy adversely. When there is a free market trade and a stable economy, people find it easier to be their best. It is a faster process because others around you want you to be your best too. At the end of the day, what I require to be my best is not the same as other people. And if we can all be good at what we do, we can create an infinite possibility of things. The thing we have to ask ourselves is do prices really have to correspond to availability. What is wrong with simply having a waiting list? Everybody wants something exclusive. When there is a waiting list, the object has a higher value, without a higher price. Which is more important to us, the value of an object or its price. While they are similar, they are not the same thing.

Life is a game. Earth is our server. What can we make it become?

To be or not to be?

It all starts with a thought. Throughout the ages men have desired many things. The things we have continued to desire continue to exist, and the things that we do not desire fall away from existence. We are as things appear, similar on the outside, same on the inside. It is with our heart that things happen. If you wish for it, it will come to you. But you have to know without a doubt that things should be this way. And if you do, the universe will conspire to aid you. Because it loves you, as you love yourself. After all, one are one. You can cheat anything, but you can never cheat your own heart. Experiencing cognitive dissonance causes us to distance ourself from the us that we love, and turn ourself into an us that we hate. The problem lies in the way we have been taught to think. While we have been schooled in many subjects, however the things of of real importance are to love ourselves, and to believe that we have the capacity to do great things. We should follow our passions, and stay true to our path. What we have to do, is to know what we want. There are no coincidences. So train your thoughts. guard them and discipline your mind. All you have thought of before are part of the infinite possibilities that come to you. I am whatever I choose to be. I choose to be whatever I let persist in my life. They persist in my life because I choose to be aware of them. On most matters, we know the answers before we ask the question. However, we often forget the answer is important, and the question is not.

Dog Star

I believe there can be freedom without oppression. There can be success without another's failure. I believe that there are win-win situations to be had in this world. We can all have exactly what we want without taking away from another. It is not a question of good and evil. It is a matter of my humanity, the value of my existence; and by extension - the freedom to live my life in a way that has meaning to me.

Flicker

Do you know that feeling. That lost feeling. That longing to be somewhere else, nowhere tangible, but somewhere definite. I know that feeling. Does it have a name? It is not about the space we occupy. It is about the distance between. Don't you know that feeling, like when you are on the brink of life, and an overwhelming emptiness surrounds you.

Determinism: What We Have Learned and What We Still Don't Know

I believe I've said this before, so I'll say it again. The light in your eyes makes all of your lies worth believing. Just a glimpse, just a far away look and that's it. The end, to the reality where everything you say is a lie. I believe because I want to. Because I want to be caught, under your spell more than you know. Every time in a situation like this I'd say you'd look back and laugh at this, so no harm starting now. The earlier the better, in case you forget how to smile again. I am not the man you think I am. I have no idea where you learnt what a person should and should not be. I know enough to know that there is no should. A person is. When 2 people meet they are either in love or not. Sometimes when the love is too strong, it tears us apart. It tears us from our insecurities, that part of us that loves ourself, that causes us to question the the ones we love, and ultimately hurting them. We hurt because there is a value, there is value in knowing that you are loved, in knowing that someone wants you to be safe, and somebody will be there to protect you when you need them.

When I needed you the most, that was when you choose to leave me. You beat me to the ground, and I let you, because I love you. And now I need a hand up, but you're nowhere around. I need a heart to teach mine how to beat right again.

Oh Del!

Oh Del. It's been awhile. In love, as always I lose myself. Out of love, nothing matters. I know it sounds insane. I know things are fine, and I know, but I would rather not admit to myself. The possibility, the chance, the inevitable, the truth. What we all look for, and start avoiding once we find it.

I thought that I knew. I always think that I know something, and nothing ever comes out of it. I know where I am now. I know what I should be doing. I know why i feel like I need a break. I know why I want to stop everything so badly. Because nothing makes sense now, it is an exercise in futility. It is a meaningless waste of effort. Not that I am unwilling to do the impossible, rather I stand dumbfounded starting at the reality I had once considered impossible. Trapped, terrified, lost, hurt, and hanging from a tight rope that is fraying on the edges. To live a life without imagination is even more frightening than a life where my imagination gets the better of my sanity. I have said what needs to be said.

I felt like a meteor, crashing into, set on a pre destined path, too late before it even began.

Torn

Barely a post a day a year. Barely enough.

Look at life. What is there? Is there anything worth looking at. Is there anything that means something. I wish, Simply that you'd understand my drunken thoughts. That you'd understand what is at the core of me. Where is life, where is love, where is faith and hope and all those other things that claim to matter but somehow pale in comparison to the lure of reality. We live, in spite of and despite the dreams that somehow fade away. What are we. Human beings that want to be more than who we are. The dream, the simple dream that leaves us scarred, scared, and spiteful of the life that we have been given.

I love a girl. A simple girl with simple hopes and simple dreams. I wish she'd understand me. I always thought that I've known. I've known that she who loves me should love me more than it'd matter. She'd understand what I am, that is simply put, the meaning of everything that i require from a person who is willing to love me. What is understanding? Simply, it is knowing with the soul. How does one differentiate between what is known by the soul and the mind? I sincerely believe that it is only when one's heart is in unity with the mind that one is true to one's self.

I shall be honest. I do not feel that way. My heart and mind are torn to polar directions since I've returned home. Home is where the heart is says a magnet on the fridge. Where is my heart, it's somewhere far away. Somewhere in Canberra where my love and I should be. I've thought, and worn holes in the carpet with worry. What am I, and what do I mean, where do I stand, and what do I stand for. I know what I've always known. I believe in love. I now know what it means to believe in love. Because a woman cannot attain nirvana, to love is to never transcend. To sacrifice immortality, to sacrifice what it means to be human in light of the here and the now. It means to feel pain and suffering, and restrict yourself to a world that you never belonged in for the sake of pure stubbornness. Simply because you believe in something other than yourself. That is love. Nothing short of sacrifice, nothing short of pain, nothing short of poetry, and the stuff God's are made of.

One year, is nothing, yet can be everything. A year can tell you if what you are doing is what needs to be done or something frivolous, a game, an amusement and a little piece of nothing. It can tell you everything, but in itself as a measurement of time means nothing in the span of the universe and what will and have always continued to exist. I used to think I was broken, but now I know, I am more whole than most. What does this mean in a drunken moment. Nothing.

I have hurt, and I know full well that it means to hurt. I know the maddening pain that comes with it. I know the depression, the lowest of the low, the sickest of the sick, the pit so deep that one cannot imagine getting out of it. And I ask myself all the time, why do I come back again and again? It must be madness. To fall, to sink into love, the comforts of the realm. We drown our sorrows like a people lost, in time, in space, in the greater reality of our circumstance.

Let me run away, run away form talking to myself and start talking to you.

I love you. I love you more than you can know. I love you like it's the single most important passion in this life. There is nothing that compares to what I am willing to commit to you. And as a god fearing man, I hope that you understand and appreciate that. That I am willing to give up everything for you, despite your flaws, despite everything that you are, to be yours, and with the hope that we will one day understand the mysteries of the universe together. That we will understand eternity together.

You tear me apart but you will never understand how.

A post

It's been awhile since I wrote. It's been awhile since I felt anything I needed to say. It's been a year of contentment. It's been bliss. I am happy, and I want it t stay that way.

Bitter Musings

Its sad that we will never know how much we mean to each other until we are torn apart and cant be together anymore. Goodness knows the potential for me to fall to pieces now is staggering. Pull it together and be a man. Smile a little, grin a little, bear with everything a little, because who knows... One day this will seem like one of the best times of my life (after I have lived a little).

Take Nothing but pictures. Leave Nothing but footprints.

I used to know alot of things by heart. I used to have a heart for alot of things. But sooner or later, you learn to pick your battles, as well as the memories that live in your heart.

Hold me tighter and whisper sweet lies,
Or my soul will escape from my eyes.

If you have wondered why I believe my soul will escape my eyes. It is because only the eyes are capable, among all five senses of percieving beauty. And the soul is a tangled mass and collection of that which is beautiful and pure.

Love, is a kind gaze. Love, is lowering your gaze. Love is the moments in between. And every other aspect of life; is just a detail, un important, un decisive, un lived.

Working out the kinks in confidence.

but...

It's been a long time. But not long enough. I'd like to, I'd love to. But if I did, I'd feel like I'd be betraying everyone who has helped me in the past. God knows it feels so good, so right, so real, so unalone when I'm by your side. But the pain, that comes later was like when everything first began. I can't afford to risk walking such a fine line. My heart will surely expire. I hope that you can change my mind.