Talking to myself is normal

I love you, and i dont know which part of your reason to appeal to. I'm worried sick and i care alot. Tell me what to do, just dont tell me that i cant do anything. I cant just stand by and watch. I cant stand by and pretend to understand. I'm sorry i'm not good enough to know what to do. And i dont think i'm being melodramatic for being this worried.

On the bright side, i'm once again fully aware that life is real. And i really dont know how long i can hold on for. Haha. I wonder if when the time comes i'll have the courage to jump, or will i chicken out and take some pills. It would be nice to fly once, just once.