Yes thats right...

Its that moment that you feel that everythings right. Those times when you're at peace with yourself. Its those sometimes i decide to sit down and write what i feel, mostly it comes out awfully wrong. Sometimes i look at the things i've written, and its not me. Its just me reacting to feelings and emotions that are whirling about my head like a hurricane. And sometimes, i read the right book, watch the right movie, that atriculates everything i want to say, everything i want to feel, and it clicks. Ah-ha, the words come to mind, like Eureka, or a Norwegian pop band.

Sometimes i feel this me, this sense of self, that i love, this sense of sense. When i really know, what i want, what i'm doing, where i'm going, and what i'm going to do when i get there. The word is inspired. So seldom i feel inspired now, i've stopped looking for ways to feel this, instead I take a nihilstic approach. Dont feel, dont want, dont desire, dont give, and dont take.

I've just understood why people feel tired in relationships, because the other wants too much. I think i take as much as i'm willing to give, and i dont think anybody can keep up with me. Right now i dont really care anymore about that. You can only bounce back up when you've hit rock bottom, i don't know if i'm still falling, and this is just a momentary lapse of reason. Where the lapses are the lapse. Lucky me, and my high tolerance for stupid ideas.

I don't care i'm not asking i'm not wanting. I need a break, i need to love myself, and love my self properly. I might never need again, and i may never give again, but atleast, my broken heart wont be on your shoulders. I am not wise, only consciously niave.

All these feelingsright now, see so right, and make so much sense, so much different from cheating yourself, who you've been cheating. But right now it makes sense, and i have to say, yes, thats right. . .