God is real because Life is shit

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the players, (ie everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
-Good Omens

Back to the quote, I have really fallen for Gaiman and Prachett. The only thing I regret from my Melbourne trip was not looking Terry Prachett up. If life is indeed a game of poker, i'm in deep shit, because i never know when to quit, when i'm up i'm very very up, and when i'm down, i always lose my crown.

Life requires a certain amout of balance, and i'm so bloody repetitive, i should be listening to repetitive music. I really Love stars, the band took my heart away, and they have a diverse array of instruments at their arsenal, which they oh so effortlessly pummel your heart strings with. Maybe i'm just bias, I love trumpet and the violin.

Its not just the game people cant take, its not the infinite stakes, the complete lack of an instruction manual, which for normal games can be quite a chore, let alone cosmic ones. Its actually the smiling dealer, sometimes you wonder if hes smiling at your effort for putting in so much concenteration in a game all about nothing (like an episode of Jerry Sienfeld).

Since we are created in the image of God, there are two parts to our human nature people are generally uncomfortable with, one being our sadomachoistic nature, I mean we're talking about the god that let men build the Tower of Babel almost to completion, and then mow it down like a lego house.

In a Boston Legal episode, I came accross the term Schadenfreude, which translates to "pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune", however, its not just a german thing, though we might like to blame them for all unsavoury things like sour crout. Schadenfreude is a feeling we have all experienced and understand dispite our culture.

However it is something that is built into us, from when we were children, watching our friends fall off roller skates, getting shot by paper bullets, and after the child like enjoyment of what has been described as the purest of joys, we shy from our cruel nature, because its something thats just not good to show off. However it shows up in other ways, that silent snicker at the back of our hearts, watching, and waiting for our revenge to be enacted upon the world.

Almost like that scene from City of God, with the children shooting somebody dead. But what does God have to be envious about to watch the proud fall, well i guess God is proud, and he really does not like comptition, maybe thats why we give thanks to god for all we've got.

Its pathetic as human beings to love the thrill of watching a fall, and then beat ourselves up for it because of ingrained cultural teachings. Just because its not nice. Our jealousy, pride and envy, make up so much of our humanity, that to truly transcend that takes an endless amount of self control.

Schadenfreude and our litost, are opposite ends of the same spectrum, thats why sometimes i dont understand why BDSM is divided to make one end of the relationship seem like the opposite of the other. In a sense, it appears to me every opposite is essientially the same thing, just a difference in execution. and neither can exist without one.

I'm a sucker for punishment and a great lover of divine comedy, keep the punches coming, and make sure i'm soft and bloody by the end of this, lessons in life are learnt like the Royal Selangor Pewter smelting school.