On the corner of a Milk Carton

There are many children missing today. Very few are important to us, and even fewer are important to me. Since this blog is mine, and you are reading my blog, maybe, just maybe, you might care about what i care about.

He was a good kid, he wanted to do the best in everything he did.
He wanted to be the lover, fighter poet and madman that every human being aspired to.
He was the first one in a fight and the last one out.
He used to carry his brother on his back and run all over the house.
He couldn't sit still and do one thing at a time.
He once set booby traps for his mother coming home from work after he watched home alone.
He chipped his front teeth playing on the double decker bed with his brother.
He never had enough toys, though he loved each and everyone of them.
He could never let go when people died.
He was the one crying the hardest at funerals never believing that they were gone.
He consoled the most people at funerals, giving them tissue and lending shoulders where he could.
He always believed life was his oyster.
He believed it was always better to break than to bend.
He believed in being a rock for those who loved him, so when the world goes wrong for them they will always have a familiar place to lick their wounds.
He believed in always putting others first because he believed he could never be broken by the world.
He believed he could have his cake and eat it too.
He believed everyone was beautiful and truly wonderful on the inside it was just a matter of getting to that part of them.
He believed every stranger was a friend he hadn't met, and it was just a matter of being friendly and open, so they could be open to you.
He believed that honnesty always started with the self, and being honnest with yourself opened your eyes to the way the world really worked.
He is loved by many, though he might have gone too far away to realise that.
He wanted somebody he didnt love to be his first girlfriend, because he thought being a player was cool.
He once broke up with a girl because she was wrong for him and he didnt love her.
He was more upset than he expected and didnt eat for a whole month, he was really sorry for hurting her feelings.
He promised to try his best not to break any hearts.
He thought all that about not hating the player and hating the game was such bullshit.
He believed the player propogated the game.
He once found someone who took his breath away, coloured his world.
He loved her the moment he met her.
He played Capteh with her on the Christmas of '97 at the porch of MGS.
He waited two hours for her once because she was late, and when she came he didnt recgonise her.
He would have done anything for her, and probably still would.
He once told her, "I can have any woman in this world, but with all my heart I want to be with you."
He actually believed that.
He eventually had his heart broken when she left him for someone else.
He believed as long as she was happy he would love her enough to be happy for her.
His heart never fully recovered.
He has a really great friend who ate Cadbury White chocolate with him on the top of a swing at a playground thats no longer there.
He knew at that moment it was the begining of a beautiful friendship.
His friend and he never argue.
He used to drink himself silly, tell jokes and laugh do stupid things like going to church camp drunk.
He believed in brotherhood.
He believed in putting any and everything down for his brother.
He went on the rebound once, with a girl whos value he could not see clearly.
He completed X-Com Apocalypse while he was with her.
He very seldom completes games because he gets bored of them.
He thinks X-Com Apocalypse is a really good game.
He regrets completing X-Com Apocalypse.
He used to go to her house after tuition to tell her that she should give him another chance and he'd be better this time.
He would listen to Best of the Beast he borrowed from his best friend on the way to her place.
He never really go to talk to her, as she'd usually tell him to go home.
He couldn't tell the difference between being a stalker and being sincere.
He didnt date for a very long time because he was sick of letting people down.
He sat on the roof of the church in school to watch a soccer match with his best friend once.
His best friend told him things will eventually pick up.
He believed in waiting.
He believed that good things come to those who wait.
He liked to smile and laugh.
He used to laugh whenever he felt his world was crashing down on him.
He never got into gangsterism.
He believed that people should make love not war.
He believed in non-violence.
He believed violence and anger were the last resorts of the feeble minded.
He believed in protecting those who couldn't protect themselves.
He once took a beating for someone and then carried him home after.
He always believed no matter what happened he could always take care of himself.
He believed if there ever came a day when he couldn't the poeple who he took care of would help him.
He believed in kharma.
He believed in God.
He prayed to God almost every night.
He always prayed for wisdom.
He prayed to know what was the right thing to do.
He prayed that the ones he loved would have an easy life.
He prayed for a hard life.
He believed hardship was essential to building character.
He prayed to have the strength to do the right thing even though it may be the hardest thing in the world.
He believed that his character was the most important thing to him.
He had girls have crushes on him.
He always turned them down because he didnt want to break their hearts.
He thought the girls were very pretty.
He wished the girls had come at a better time.
He always took a long time to heal.
He believed in giving until it hurt.
He believed in loving until there was nothing left.
He didnt believe in halfway.
He believed that you cannot measure love.
He believed that giving all you can was enough.
He once got insanely drunk.
He tried to chase a chicken.
He tried to bowl with coconuts.
He tried to spin in circles.
He ended up falling on the floor.
He still has the dark blue cotton GAP long sleeve shirt he wore that night.
He really doesn't remember very much from that night.
He drank a full glass of whiskey, vodka, congac, and god knows what else topped up with beer.
He had never been to a drinking session before that.
He never knew that being drunk could ever be so fun.
He was busy getting drunk after that.
He once brought a bottle of Tequila to school.
He panicked when there was a bag check that day.
He mixed Tequila shooters later that day for everyone.
He made two tequila shots for two girls in a staircase.
He cut himself while cutting the lemon.
He found out he liked sweet wines.
He thought it was port but it was actually Muscat Wine.
He once brought a bottle of port to school.
He couldn't really be bothered with home econs.
He already knew how to cook and clean and sew.
He kicked himself out of class because he had a bottle of port that day.
His best friend kicked himself out of class as well.
His best friend was pleasently suprised to find the bottle of port.
He shared some wine in the staircase in school.
He got his friend drunk before recess.
He told his friend "Oei this one cannot ta-h, its very strong."
He laughed when he found out that his friend had the discpline master's period after recess.
He studied one month before his "O"'s.
He came in third in class.
He met this chick from Ngee Ann Mass Communications in 2000.
He decided to go to MCM.
He was introduced to The Smashing Pumpkins by her.
He heard For Martha and immediately fell in love with them.
He thought being in MCM was cool.
He hung out in the MCM channel on IRC.
He met another girl there one day.
He thought she was abit lame when she thought Sirius was a character from Harry Potter.
He thought she was cool because she was into Metaphysics.
He liked that she was really shy.
He met her at the fountain inside Takashimaya.
He bought a pair of Timberland boots that day.
He thought she wasn't that great looking.
He didnt really know what to say but neither did she.
He felt really ackward.
He was wondering if she felt that way too.
He went to work at Country Mana after his "O"'s.
He used to meet her after work as often as he could.
He used to smell of chicken when he did.
He liked talking to her.
He liked talking to her at the playground near her house.
He liked talking to her about everything under the stars.
He got turned down by her three times when he tried to get her to be his girlfriend.
He thought he was the hottest shit in the world and it was all a done deal anyway.
He didnt know the importance of timing and atmosphere.
He had everything explained to him one day.
He got it right eventually.
He was the happiest boy in the world.
He wanted to marry her.
He promised to make this work.
He promised it'd be the last time.
He promised he'd end his life if he couldn't make things work.
He wanted to make her the happiest girl in the world.
He saved up two paychecks and took out all the money in his bank to buy her a Tiffany ring.
He thought she deserved the best.
He wanted to be the best for her.
He thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world.
He laughed every day.
He smiled every day.
He couldn't remember ever being so happy.
He met up with his ex.
He tried to comfort her because she needed him.
He couldn't get back with her because it wasn't fair.
He wished the timing had been better.
He wished she never had to suffer.
He wished he could do something more.
He thought that was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.
He got into MCM.
He thought she was the most supportive girlfriend he ever had.
He thought she was the shizz.
He often thought after all he'd done he hadn't done enough.
He wanted to do more and more.
He never wanted to stop because he thought nothing was ever good enough.
He eventually hit the one year mark.
He began to panic.
He didnt know what came next.
He's never been with anyone that long.
He went to sheesha with her after TV.
He never really knew what was going on but he liked being with her.
He picked up smoking at a mahjong table one chinese new year.
He was angry because she left.
He thought what the hell.
He wanted to do something for himself.
He wanted to do something for someone else.
He wanted some other response than just leaving.
He picked up smoking.
He knew she hated it.
He thought she should learn to live with it.
He hated her leaving.
He should have learnt to live with it.
He wanted to give up.
He wanted to give up.
He wanted to give up.
He wanted to believe that he loved her enough to make things work.
He learnt that sometimes love just aint enough.
He knew eventually things were going to end.
He watched Closer with her.
He met his friends at Attar after things ended.
He laughed and joked that night.
He didnt realise things were over until three days later.
He promised that at the very least they'd try to be friends.
He went to Melbourne for a holiday.
He thought things might get better if he went somewhere away from the memories.

He did, he lost them all. Now he's somewhere far away. Forever lost. I guess we all get lost once in awhile. Sometimes someone comes to find us, sometimes sometimes no one does. Sometimes its too late when they do. If you know this boy then help me find him. He barely remembers who he is or where he left off. It was his birthday not too long ago. I wanted to celebrate it with him but there was someone else instead.

Hugs and kisses to loved ones and lost ones. Muses and users. Happy birthday me.