I don't feel like writing

But I will pray for her
I will call her name out loud
I would bleed for her
I only I could see her now

Its lyrics like this that shine. Ok I'm at the point where I will listen. I know they're not good for me, they're not worth a speck of me. Yet I tried. There is no failure if there are no expectations. There is no love if there is no connections. Just like there is no heart if there is no soul. Thanks for the advice.

I have three organs to think with, maybe four. A brain, a penis, a heart, and the intangible soul. Like everything in my life, I like to keep them separated. Because there's not enough blood in my body, and there would be too much confusion.

Going back to I wants, after talking to Nat, Liz and lastly but most importantly Ms Breakfast of Champions. I've reworked what I want, yet again, but as with every time its closer to the truth. I get more real, I feel more certain. Truth. Sometimes i know, there is no truth I'm willing to accept but the undeniable truth of the smile on your lips.

too late to turn back now, i'm running out of sound
and i am changing, changing
and if we died right now, this fool you love somehow
is here with you
i won't deny the pain
i won't deny the change
and should i fall from grace here with you
would you leave me too?

I know you would, but thats just a part of you I've grown to love. I'd rather die, than live without purpose. I'd rather do nothing, than do without direction. I'd rather put the whole world on hold, than carry on without a purpose. I'd rather have nothing, than have almost everything. Its who I am. I exist for the blackest Black, and the whitest White. There is little room or want or need for something that is not defined. An extremist, a purist, and a romantic. I will either flourish or die, and I'm prepared to die. You will never understand me, if you do not come to terms with the fragility of your existence. You will not understand me, because I want nothing but my lover or the ledge. I will be fine if I die in the gutter, old and alone. After all, my mind has been there for as long as I can remember. Though on occasion, it has been with the stars.

After all, is it not natural? For they are the same thing. What are we, if not stardust.