Mellow for Christmas

It's been a tiring holiday, and I've found myself once again looking inward. Searching for truth, searching for something to believe in.

How all of us celebrate with such ceremony, our uniqueness. Still we seldom see, that being unique makes us lonely, isolated, misunderstood, ultimately leaving us vulnerable. We drown in our uniqueness, like Narcissus through the looking glass.

Soft touches and gentle words, that coax, and cradle us, from our solitude. Inviting, caring, warming, feeling deeply into the moments between - the beats of your heart. To be warm again, to feel again, to breathe deeply that first sweet gasp for air as you emerge from the surface of still water.

Still I am human. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that life is not masturbation, nor is it copulation. Though I find this hard to remember sometimes, I believe life is a dance. It is a silent, perfect, invigorating dance shared by two souls.

Two souls who have found themselves equally unique.


In light of all this weight, I submit my musings of the night. I hope they inspire in you something. As they did in me.

Poems by D H Lawrence:

Self Pity

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.



What would you fight for?

I am not sure I would always fight for my life.
Life might not be worth fighting for.

I am not sure I would always fight for my wife.
A wife isn't always worth fighting for.

Nor my children, nor my country, nor my fellow-men.
It all deprnds whether I found them worth fighting for.

The only thing men invariably fight for
Is their money.  But I doubt if I'd fight for mine, anyhow
 not to shed a lot of blood over it.

Yet one thing I do fight for, tooth and nail, all the time.
And that is my bit of inward peace, where I am at one
 with myself.




And I must say, I am often worsted.




To Women, As Far As I'm Concerned

The feelings I don't have I don't have.
The feelings I don't have, I won't say I have.
The felings you say you have, you don't have.
The feelings you would like us both to have, we
 neither of us have.
The feelings people ought to have, they never have.
If people say they've got feelings, you may be pretty
 sure they haven't got them
So if you want either of us to feel anything at all
you'd better abandon all idea of feelings altogether.

All I ask

All I ask of a woman is that she shall feel gently towards
me
when my heart feels kindly towards her,
and there shall be the soft, soft tremor as of unheard bells
between us.
It is all I ask.
I am so tired of violent women lashing out and insisting on being loved,
when there is no love in them.