Oh Del!

Oh Del. It's been awhile. In love, as always I lose myself. Out of love, nothing matters. I know it sounds insane. I know things are fine, and I know, but I would rather not admit to myself. The possibility, the chance, the inevitable, the truth. What we all look for, and start avoiding once we find it.

I thought that I knew. I always think that I know something, and nothing ever comes out of it. I know where I am now. I know what I should be doing. I know why i feel like I need a break. I know why I want to stop everything so badly. Because nothing makes sense now, it is an exercise in futility. It is a meaningless waste of effort. Not that I am unwilling to do the impossible, rather I stand dumbfounded starting at the reality I had once considered impossible. Trapped, terrified, lost, hurt, and hanging from a tight rope that is fraying on the edges. To live a life without imagination is even more frightening than a life where my imagination gets the better of my sanity. I have said what needs to be said.

I felt like a meteor, crashing into, set on a pre destined path, too late before it even began.