but...

It's been a long time. But not long enough. I'd like to, I'd love to. But if I did, I'd feel like I'd be betraying everyone who has helped me in the past. God knows it feels so good, so right, so real, so unalone when I'm by your side. But the pain, that comes later was like when everything first began. I can't afford to risk walking such a fine line. My heart will surely expire. I hope that you can change my mind.