Dry

Its ironic. Its the first kind of high you learn. Mostly. We drink, till we have/are drunk. When we all started drinking we were so young. We used to sing drinking songs, we used to laugh, and make bold statements. We used to believe in love, camaraderie, we used to say things like drink together die together, or brothers forever. Somewhere along the lines we started to have more caution with our words.

Now when I'm completely shit faced, I don't miss you. I don't think of you, I don't feel like my life is lacking. Its nice to love somebody, but i'm old enough to know that thats not important. I don't need to feel needed or loved either. I'm happy being alone and single. Well not exactly happy but its alright now. I've forgotten everything I wanted to forget. I cant remember a time when i was happier. And i've abandoned hope that things will get better.

That line from acoustic#3 always gets me. "And your mother loves your father, coz shes got no where to go." There is no love. I'm old enough to know that. Every year i get older, every year i lose something important to me. One day i'll have nothing left. I still don't know if i can live with that. But it seems possible.

I would tell you that i love you, but i cant remember what that means. I'd find another lover, but i'm starting to like feeling empty.