Howling at the moon
I'm feeling better, happier. Well not exactly happy, but I'm alright with being happy. I don't have anything to hope for, well not exactly but I've let a lot of things go. I hope you're here to stay peace of mind and sanity. I really missed you.
It became blatantly apparent, that in the wake of it, i have alot to fix. Sometimes i think its alright. Sometimes the sheer enormity of the task frightens me. I've really learnt to take things a step at a time. Never overextend myself, or under utilise myself. I've re-learnt the value of balance. Both excessive happiness and excessive sadness is not good i have to moderate.
I actually like being single. At first it was a daunting task. At first it was impossibly painful. Now i am content. I just miss the sex on occasion. We're not made to be single, but I've found other muses. I've learn to pick up and let go. I can see the necessity of this time alone, clearer than ever before.
Dark and twisty, broken damaged and jaded, still yes. But for the better. I now know i will never love and trust as much again. I will never give in 110% into a relationship again. I know i cannot afford to. The school of hard knocks (not the royal Selangor one) has taught me well. Nobody's worth it. As much as I'd like to believe in romantic love, the beauty of life et cetera, i now know such things are to be admired from afar. Through a bullet proof glass wall. Like the one in prison. I will not die for you. Though sometimes I wish I were young enough to. I never knew the value of my life and mental health until now. For that I am grateful.
Cant wait for F.O.B on sat!
It became blatantly apparent, that in the wake of it, i have alot to fix. Sometimes i think its alright. Sometimes the sheer enormity of the task frightens me. I've really learnt to take things a step at a time. Never overextend myself, or under utilise myself. I've re-learnt the value of balance. Both excessive happiness and excessive sadness is not good i have to moderate.
I actually like being single. At first it was a daunting task. At first it was impossibly painful. Now i am content. I just miss the sex on occasion. We're not made to be single, but I've found other muses. I've learn to pick up and let go. I can see the necessity of this time alone, clearer than ever before.
Dark and twisty, broken damaged and jaded, still yes. But for the better. I now know i will never love and trust as much again. I will never give in 110% into a relationship again. I know i cannot afford to. The school of hard knocks (not the royal Selangor one) has taught me well. Nobody's worth it. As much as I'd like to believe in romantic love, the beauty of life et cetera, i now know such things are to be admired from afar. Through a bullet proof glass wall. Like the one in prison. I will not die for you. Though sometimes I wish I were young enough to. I never knew the value of my life and mental health until now. For that I am grateful.
Cant wait for F.O.B on sat!
Labels: Vacation in my soul
posted by Seython at 9:35 pm
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