Omnia mutantur, nihil interit

And then i will talk about 3 funerals and a bird. There seem to be alot of funerals going on now. Everybodys dying.

Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.

Arent we all. My life is shit and i feel like a sorry excuse for a human being. Great. I dont want to blog anymore because i have nothing to say to anyone anymore. Sammy said it seems like i blog for a specific somebody. Maybe its just the radio clases that make me talk to you instead of the general public.

I dont think i will write for awhile. words are just so meaningless like ideas, believes. whatever. What you have is what you hold on to, and i am grasping on to an infinite nothingness. I dont even know what that means and in my last post i hoped to write something worthwhile. i dont really care.

I think i dont care about anything anymore i dont care about myself i dont care about anyone else. If you care push me off a building. Before i can push myself off.

I want to do what i knew how to do so long before. Something long ago before i met sammy before i knew what a relationship meant. Between friends or otherwise. I want to run. I want to hide. Its just so fucking difficult because i'm so god dammed lonely.

I'll be fine. I hope i do not plagerise, Mass Com taught me 3 consecutive words = plagerism. I dont give a fuck about mass com now. But i'm 21 and i can really go to jail. God save the dead, coz thats when people realise they need saving. Fuck the queen, the queen not Queen. I have a sneaky suspicion i spely it wrong. Kelvin if my spelling offenends i'm sorry my spelling and grammar are shit.

Although its appalling how there are tons of singaporeans whos spelling and grammar are worse than mine. Like i was saying. I'll be fine because my hosue is a pub my darling mother just doesn't know it yet. I want to run away from this live. because i had to remember a password that i though i forgot. because i had to recently remmeber alot of things i though i'd forgot. I'm not a good person and i'm sick of making excuses for myself.

I'm sick of making people sad, i'm sick of trying and failing i'm sick of everything. Thank you god for granting my wishes. all of them, from learning about love pain and all that other shit. Right now i wish i wasn;t so niave so i could be more niave.

I take heart in the title, if i tell you what it means you may not appericiate the sense of discovery. but it keeps me going most days. Other days its memento mori, we wereall dying since the day we were born. With no words to tell the world how we felt.

I've been spewing a ton of garbage in this post. Only thing i really have to say is i'm sorry, i'm no longer here. Thank you for being there when you were, thank you for the love when i had it. I want to run away now and turn my back on everything i have.