Baby Steps and Noontime Naps
Baby steps and noontime naps are easy, part of a better childhod. The better part of us were breast fed, does that make us more compassionate, and does compassion make us better people.
Noontime naps i still find good, simply because i cant sleep at night, the fear of nightmares keeps me awake through the night and the fear of endless chores keeps me safely asleep during the afternoon warmth.
Mostly we're afraid of getting cold. One of the things from Sophie's World that really got to me was then they were talking about romanticism. Most romantics killed themselves, or became the working blase middle class they so despised. It seems like there are only 2 options for somebody who wants a perfect fairy tale life. Suicide or a really painful life.
I somehow started feeling tired again, happier to be safe at home, safe from people, dissappointment, choices, and hope. The only hope i have at home is that things are quiet. And things are quiet because i'm asleep during the day and live my day during the night.
If a tree falls in the forest and nothings around to ehar it does it make a sound? Ignorance is bliss.
Back to the crux of what i wanted to say. Baby steps sound like such an easy thing to do. mostly its putting one foot in front of the other. When you walk the first part of your body that moves is the hips. Step by tiny step, it all seems so easy. Whats so difficult and the flaw in this almost wonderful plan is the fear. Its easy to move, but its almost impossible when you have that fear that grips your heart, when you feel those fingers wrap around your still beating warm heart and squish, then you stop. And your feet wont move.
So what happens when the heart just stops, you can find out here.
Sometimes i wonder if its better to just be cold, and have your heart frozen solid. Numb to everything. So you cant feel that cold bony grip, so you cant feel that wrenching squish. I'm just too torn and tired now. Give me a reason to believe in something more.
Please.
Noontime naps i still find good, simply because i cant sleep at night, the fear of nightmares keeps me awake through the night and the fear of endless chores keeps me safely asleep during the afternoon warmth.
Mostly we're afraid of getting cold. One of the things from Sophie's World that really got to me was then they were talking about romanticism. Most romantics killed themselves, or became the working blase middle class they so despised. It seems like there are only 2 options for somebody who wants a perfect fairy tale life. Suicide or a really painful life.
I somehow started feeling tired again, happier to be safe at home, safe from people, dissappointment, choices, and hope. The only hope i have at home is that things are quiet. And things are quiet because i'm asleep during the day and live my day during the night.
If a tree falls in the forest and nothings around to ehar it does it make a sound? Ignorance is bliss.
Back to the crux of what i wanted to say. Baby steps sound like such an easy thing to do. mostly its putting one foot in front of the other. When you walk the first part of your body that moves is the hips. Step by tiny step, it all seems so easy. Whats so difficult and the flaw in this almost wonderful plan is the fear. Its easy to move, but its almost impossible when you have that fear that grips your heart, when you feel those fingers wrap around your still beating warm heart and squish, then you stop. And your feet wont move.
So what happens when the heart just stops, you can find out here.
Sometimes i wonder if its better to just be cold, and have your heart frozen solid. Numb to everything. So you cant feel that cold bony grip, so you cant feel that wrenching squish. I'm just too torn and tired now. Give me a reason to believe in something more.
Please.
posted by Seython at 6:58 am
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