i had a title for this but i forgot
maybe i'm sick, maybe i'm mentally retarded. i'm so socially inept so clueless of the clues that are tossed around like croutons in a salad. Is something wrong, i know it is, but i've had this feeling that something is so fundementally wrong for so long now i really dont know if i'd know what right if i ever find it again.
Ok i've tried everything. blaming you, blaming me, talking to people, cutting people put of my life, walking away from everything and nothing stops me thinking ever. I cant stop and i want to stop so much, i want to sleep, i want to rest my heart somewhere safe.
Lets see what the army does maybe things will change, and theres tomorrow and tomorrow and maybe tomorrows away i'll feel alright. maybe i should stop waiting to feel alright, be happy with feeling miserable, forget that i ever learnt about opposites. Forget that what feels right and what feels wrong are two different things.
i'm crashing again, its got nothing o do with kundera. All he does is remind me that i'm human. i'm sick and tired of this, god will you just throw me a bone here. i really dont want to go on. if you love me like the people in church say you do, if you're there like the people in church say you're everywhere, if things could be the way you wanted, why do you make your children suffer.
I can never find truer words than that really emotionally trying night at bar none, i wasn't crying because she left. i wasn't crying to her, i wasn't crying for her, i wasn't sad because it ended though a part of me was. i was crying because i felt my life was over, i was crying for myself because i knew i'd never be the same ever again. i hope god you will take me where i dont have to suffer anymore.
just let me go, please god let me go. let me soar and fly, let me frolick over green pastures and over blue skies, let me know that everythings going to be alright one day, just whisper in my ear when i wake up from the night, you're alright, or i'm here, thats all i want.
i've made some stupid descisions over the last year, too late to turn back now, its not regret i feel but that overwhelming sense of loss. that i lost the most important part of living. and everything is bitter now, everything is desaturated now, its like being burried under the toilet bowl.
Ok i've tried everything. blaming you, blaming me, talking to people, cutting people put of my life, walking away from everything and nothing stops me thinking ever. I cant stop and i want to stop so much, i want to sleep, i want to rest my heart somewhere safe.
Lets see what the army does maybe things will change, and theres tomorrow and tomorrow and maybe tomorrows away i'll feel alright. maybe i should stop waiting to feel alright, be happy with feeling miserable, forget that i ever learnt about opposites. Forget that what feels right and what feels wrong are two different things.
i'm crashing again, its got nothing o do with kundera. All he does is remind me that i'm human. i'm sick and tired of this, god will you just throw me a bone here. i really dont want to go on. if you love me like the people in church say you do, if you're there like the people in church say you're everywhere, if things could be the way you wanted, why do you make your children suffer.
I can never find truer words than that really emotionally trying night at bar none, i wasn't crying because she left. i wasn't crying to her, i wasn't crying for her, i wasn't sad because it ended though a part of me was. i was crying because i felt my life was over, i was crying for myself because i knew i'd never be the same ever again. i hope god you will take me where i dont have to suffer anymore.
just let me go, please god let me go. let me soar and fly, let me frolick over green pastures and over blue skies, let me know that everythings going to be alright one day, just whisper in my ear when i wake up from the night, you're alright, or i'm here, thats all i want.
i've made some stupid descisions over the last year, too late to turn back now, its not regret i feel but that overwhelming sense of loss. that i lost the most important part of living. and everything is bitter now, everything is desaturated now, its like being burried under the toilet bowl.
posted by Seython at 3:27 am
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