Dark Side of the Moon

Feeling very Pink Floyd today. Yes Mel I do like some pink things.

Havent been blogging because I have nothing much to say. Though Bear and Shan might disagree, and say that I can talk alot of cock, I don't do it all the time when I am at home and bored.

Firstly I would like to start off by thanking Shan for hosting that wonderful picture of me on his blog, it is truly a comfort to to know that my friends find time in their personal life for me. Gambate!

Well what about the Dark Side of the Moon you might ask. As we gaze into the night sky, what else might we see under the guise of the city lights but the moon. And as we look onto the moon, we will never see its darker side, the side where the man fears to live, for it embodies the lunacy of cultures over the world.

Maybe thats the mistake i've made in my blog, trying to write about my world in terms of the one I live in. Sometimes i wonder if i do live in a different world from one whose pressures and norms i've been exposed to. Is there something beyond my imagination, my mind that i have not truly discovered. Probably too afraid to find out.

As we gaze into the night sky, under the guise of city lights, all we see is the moon. Not because there is nothing else, but rather this reality we exist in shades our eyes from the stars. In the end, after the world was created, whether by big bang, or some other less well known adult video production house, everything was stardust.

We started with the notion that we were special, because we are born with potential to do great things, and maybe once upon a time, most of us believed it. That being made of stardust, and the vaults of our minds were worth something.

Most poeple grow into the concept that stars aren't that special, since everything is made of stardust, nothing really means more than anything else, and we are therefore no better than rocks.

Some of us come to the conclusion that we are not great, and the only thing that actually links us to stars would be the flammable gas coming out our behinds.

And yet there are some of us who actually believe we can achieve stardom. If we stick to our goals and believe. If we try hard enough and harder still. If we breathe in the air of stars (i pity german people), we will be able, like the little engine who could. However, you'd have to ask the people standing Caldecott Hill.

Why try to be something that you're not. We all grow up with the pressures of parents and the life that we should have. Truth is, nobody really knows what a stars suppoused to do, besides shine. Unless your parents are scientists, you're pretty safe with most conventinal descriptions.

Because parents usually want (does not mean they know) what's best for their children. And so they try to get us to shine.

Now we've grown up, we have to live with ourselves and ask ourselves what we want out of our lives, no matter how jaded we've become. Do we really know, or has it become some twisted version of what our parents wanted for us. Are we really as intelligent as we would like to believe?

And so as I stare accross my room, into the bookshelf, like a time capsule for me, my eyes are ever drawn to Does this mean My Kid's a Genius by Linda Perigo Moore.

I'd like to ask you all, in a sort of Freudian way, did your parents put too much pressure on you as a child?

And They Called It Puppy Love?

I am still trying to figure out what blogging should be all about... My innermost thoughts in a read freindly manner, or a run down of my day.

I dont really think its a run down of my day because thats what most people do and I do not think i'm MOST PEOPLE.

I serioudly wonder if that sorts it out. Thanks for indulging.

The only comment that i recieved via phone call from my last post (probably because i didn't tell many people ) was that i seemed cynical. What else is there to be?
Sometimes, going through the motions i really wonder if there is true love.

What in god's name is ture love. I spent so much time trying to figure out "love", and they put another subjective word infront of it which makes it infinity square subjective.

Lets be honnest now. Why do people fall in love? Ok not with the big questions how about a smaller one. What makes and breaks relationships between people (not you just people).

What makes is simple. It can be defined in a term that every good marketing person recgonises. 1) NEEDS
2) WANTS

What do people need and want? Security. Emotional, Financial, Physical. What else gives people the insane notion that makes them say "I feel great, NOTHING can go wrong in this world".

HELLO MURPHY!!!

Hi let me introduce you top my friend Murphy. He wrote a law that applies more to human life than all 3 of Newton's combined. One of the unsung heroes of law making. Maybe one day they'll recgonise him and name a Hawker Center after him, Murphy Hawker Center.

Murphy's law states: "Whatever that can go wrong will go wrong" (often confused with the french version Ces't La Vie)

This is something that lingers at the back of out mind screaming out like the emergency siren during a national emergency, or a national emergency exercise. Sometimes as the shit is about to hit the fan, you get this lingering uneasy feeling that something bad is about to happen it does not happen without warning.

This feelign can be described as someone with his index finger held back with potential energy poised in a flicking position, hovering closely to your unprotected scrotum. In case of lack of scrotum imagine the flicking of something sensitive like your C**t.

Ok. You must probably b wondering like i am how in gods name did i get myself into that uncomfortable monologue. As i read through again, i realise that i was trying to point out that security is somewhat a vicious cycle.

When we get it, we are happy. And we are so secure that dispite all the warning signs and such things like somebody threatening to flick your, ok lets not get into that, we ignore.

I shall attempt to explain with dialogue.

Murphy:Eh... Eh...Hello. Hello!
Me:What I'm secure don't bother me now.
Murphy: Something terrible is going to happen, Can't you see it its just...
Me: Look dont bother me i'm secur AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ^!@*(#@&#* You seriously threw shit at the fan! What in gods name is wrong with you!!!

Ok great being secure and assured with life is like a vicious cycle. Ur secure, then you'r not. You know who you are, then you don't.

Honnestly is our security measured by how much we can ignore lingering doubts and shrug of potential problems?

Seems like it and then we get woken up by a rude kick to the balls.

Isin't that what makes puppy love?

The ability to love without knowing what the hurt and pain of loving and caring comes with. Maybe thats when we know we're really secure, when we get out balls kicked in, we stand up and never learn from our mistakes. We take a look at the lingering doubt and say u just got lucky that time it wont happen again.

This of cause should not be confused with stupidy, which is instead of saying you got lucky you say "that didnt hurt at all!" (i.e. i've been through worse, or it cant get any worse). And this is not to be confused with masochism, which is saying Kick me again please, pretty please with sugar on top.

I guess this post is dedicated to puppy love, and puppys like my dog, who technically isn't a puppy, but still gives puppy dog eyes and expects people to give him food from the table.

A toast to innocence, a fragile heart and shattered emotions, and an endurance beyond human comprehension. Maybe this is why puppy love never works, we were all too young to realise we could endure more.

Let me explain,..... ok i cant really explain.

Truth is, i know jack shit about what love actually is, and why the fuck it makes me do things i dont want to do, andnot just that, i'm actually happy doing it. I dont really understand the damm motions and emotions, and as i go through them its a fucking rollercoaster ride. I wont have it anyother way though i know the only way i'm getting off is if the damm rollercoaster burst into flames and i go hurling to the ground. I dont understand why it would appear a good idea to my subconcious that the prospect of flying through the air in a metallic flaming debris. I dont know why it seems like a good idea to say FUCK IT! I know it's happened before but hey going to hell and back is better than not going anywhere at all.

Damm stupid shit if u ask me. I know how stupid and how damm nonsensical it all sounds and how much i want to stay away from hell. But honnestly i'd just give it a shot anyway, because one of the greatest virtues of the human race is its stupidity and its inability to learn from its mistakes. WWIII is not a if its happens, its a when it happens, New technology that could destroy the world 11290390 times over, who cares, we are fighting for liberity and our way of life!

If anyone says it, please remember i said it first. I'M A GODDAMM FOOL, and maybe when they develop genetically manufactured abbies, they would take out the stupidy that is so inherant in the human race.

However, no matter how intelligent i become, I'll never be able to understand my own stupidity. Sometimes i feel like i'm on a crashing plane and happily laughing at the the insane plan on how to escape without parachutes.

Well instead of puppies, maybe heres to human stupidity and the other joys of life.

A Brand New Day in a Brave New World

I wonder how many people will ever read this blog besides those who I know will read it. But here am i against blogs now starting one.

I wonder if I will design this blog seeing that I dont like designing for web very much. I'll see what I can be bother to create.

Well this blog is started by the insistance of somebody and I cannot gurantee that i will post everyday. But surely often enough to keep your curiosity satisfied and waiting for the next post.

I hope its not going to be one of those i had dinner today (no lunch and breakfast coz i couldn't wake up) or one of those ToDaY wAs GrEaT (this was actually quite time consuming to type) kind of blogs.

And i do hope those of you who are staying tuned to the mind of someone like me will be satisfied with the quality of the posts.

Welcome to my mind (Can I Play With Madness and the prophet stared in his crystal ball anyone?)

Well brighten up my life people.

Anyway the sound of the keyboard is quite comforting. And since i figure most people might not actually be reading whats in this post to decide if i am intelligent enough to satisfy their time, rather measuring the length of this post. I'll just indulge myself!

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Ok maybe i am now one paragraph more intelligent.

Back to buisness of a drama filled life. For a cliched first post lets talk about love baby!

Now many people have often wondered the meaning of the word love and why people fall in and out of love. Or even why people listen to love tunes, with Simon Lim, The Captain of your heart.

Stop wondering because i probably (Disclaimer: for a given value of the word probably) have the right answer some common answers are in hopes to find their soulmates or i just like sex, can't live without women/men, getting lonely.

However I suggest the answer is probably because we as humans are completely dumb (its quite funny how the d and b look like ears.

I mean why go through the trouble what the hell is a soul mate? can souls mate? i think not! What about sex? What is the oldest profession in the world might i ask. Can't live without women/men You've got parents havent you enough isint one woman/man in your life enough, and of course loneliness why is the cure for loneliness making out with someone of the opposite gender.

This leads us to the next question about falling in love (slightly similar to falling down the stairs for those who might have never experienced the feeling) What really defines a couple.

And i challenge you people who are actually reading this to come up with some semblance of an answer.

Like a thin line between love and hate, where lies the line that goes between couples and friends?

Being a incurable romantic, i'd like to think it's not a fat one between bush to bush. When i say bush to bush i do not refer to i-raq. Lets leave daddy issues out of love.

The cynic in me shouts its all physical! And I sit and think and wonder. Where does that classify fuck buddies in this Bizzar love equation.

So is Emotional/Physical = Love
are our emotions involved = the physical act of love X (read as times) how much you actually love a person.

In other words no sex/love = no emotions

Some of you math geniuses might be confused by this X and Y were easier to work with.

Some of you might say Hey!! You can't put love down to a mathamatical equation. Well seriously I've heard that jokes have been put down into a math equation (will not get into that ask john apparently i'm bad at telling jokes and he gave me the equation one day and forgot what it was [therefore still bad at telling jokes!])