Determinism: What We Have Learned and What We Still Don't Know

I believe I've said this before, so I'll say it again. The light in your eyes makes all of your lies worth believing. Just a glimpse, just a far away look and that's it. The end, to the reality where everything you say is a lie. I believe because I want to. Because I want to be caught, under your spell more than you know. Every time in a situation like this I'd say you'd look back and laugh at this, so no harm starting now. The earlier the better, in case you forget how to smile again. I am not the man you think I am. I have no idea where you learnt what a person should and should not be. I know enough to know that there is no should. A person is. When 2 people meet they are either in love or not. Sometimes when the love is too strong, it tears us apart. It tears us from our insecurities, that part of us that loves ourself, that causes us to question the the ones we love, and ultimately hurting them. We hurt because there is a value, there is value in knowing that you are loved, in knowing that someone wants you to be safe, and somebody will be there to protect you when you need them.

When I needed you the most, that was when you choose to leave me. You beat me to the ground, and I let you, because I love you. And now I need a hand up, but you're nowhere around. I need a heart to teach mine how to beat right again.

Oh Del!

Oh Del. It's been awhile. In love, as always I lose myself. Out of love, nothing matters. I know it sounds insane. I know things are fine, and I know, but I would rather not admit to myself. The possibility, the chance, the inevitable, the truth. What we all look for, and start avoiding once we find it.

I thought that I knew. I always think that I know something, and nothing ever comes out of it. I know where I am now. I know what I should be doing. I know why i feel like I need a break. I know why I want to stop everything so badly. Because nothing makes sense now, it is an exercise in futility. It is a meaningless waste of effort. Not that I am unwilling to do the impossible, rather I stand dumbfounded starting at the reality I had once considered impossible. Trapped, terrified, lost, hurt, and hanging from a tight rope that is fraying on the edges. To live a life without imagination is even more frightening than a life where my imagination gets the better of my sanity. I have said what needs to be said.

I felt like a meteor, crashing into, set on a pre destined path, too late before it even began.