Its Valentines again, I walk up the steps again. I know what I'm doing, and I know what I want. Sometimes I wonder, am I doing the right thing, and then I shrug it off. What can I do? Aren’t we all trying to live in this world? For once I feel that sense of trepidation off me. At least I'll be fine this time. Maybe even settle down.
I reach her level, knock, and remember to smile. Its just a frown upside down, so easy, so useful. She smiles back at me, beaming in sheer delight. "I thought you wouldn't come" she said. Like clockwork answers come to mind, "I always come with you" I replied, and let the statement wash through her, ending up with a rosy blush on each cheek. This for once, didn't result from a spanked bottom.
I lean forward to kiss her, and as she leans in I back away teasingly. I love to tease. She loved to be teased. "How much do you love me?" She asked, her soft brown eyes said everything else her lips didn't. I smiled again, like a fox in hen house, "you'll have to ask nicely," I said, closing the door gently behind me.
"Please?" she kissed me, I almost forgot how warm and soft her lips felt, how sweet a kiss can be. But that wasn't the answer I was looking for.
"No" I replied.
"Pretty please?" She asked again, unbuttoning my shirt, kissing the spot, just where my heart ached. I almost forgot that my heart could stop aching. But. . .
A frown this time, I decided. After all, 70% of communication is non-verbal.
"Pretty pretty please?", she asked again, pouted a bit and added "with sugar on top?"
I wonder which part of that 30% was oral. But I didn't wait till she started, the night like me was not so young. I lifted her off the floor and twirled this beautiful goddess around, just to hear her most delightfully charming peal of laughter. She giggles like a school girl at the Tool Shed.
Do I love her? The night like me, was not so young.
I threw her on the bed, undressed and jumped in with her. I could feel the soft sheets against my skin. I could feel her lips caress my body. I could feel her skin warm against mine, I know what I wanted. More.
I always got what I wanted with her, she didn't deserve me. Sometimes I didn’t know what I was doing with her. I knew that everything about her love was perfect
I came. She swallowed. It felt right.
Everything she did was perfect.
I went down on her, She came. I rubbed my finger tips along the side of her ribs. She came again, my hands on her back as I felt her shudder. And again, and she screamed again. "Stop!" she said between breathes. It was just getting fun, starting was supposed to be the easy part. Finally I decided to stop, right before she was going to come.
The look on her face was exquisite. Her eyebrows perfectly frowned, her lips a sensuous pout. "I see you've decided to listen to me." She accused, her tone betrayed by her expression. The moment was so perfect, I kissed her, I almost fell in love again. I wish it could have been you.
Instead I left. I still remember her silhouette in the door. She was almost as tall as me, short hair, and despite her heartache, she still managed a regal pose. Something I could never have done. It broke my heart. She wouldn't come, she was too good for that. Sometimes I wish she would have. Sometimes I wish I made her come that one last time. Mostly I wish for things that can never be granted.
The night is not young anymore.
And as I walked down those familiar steps once again I hoped she would forgive me, I hoped I would find enough of myself to fix the hurt I've caused. We're all just trying to make the best of our lives.
Just to live. Just to feel alive, once. Once more. One last time.
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
